We’re all in this together. We’re in this small iron box with very limited personal space, please let’s not make each other’s lives even more hell. Unfortunately some people don’t seem to care… Here are the most annoying plane passengers you might encounter on your next trip.
The tax-free area is this wonderful space where deodorant and perfume comes free, please use it. There really is no excuse for smelling bad.
The Rear-Seat Kicker
Are you bored, nervous or a jerk? None of these 3 explanations justify your behaviour though.
Okay, it can be stressful to take an airplane… But drinking…? This type actually describes my neighbour during my flight from Marseille to Brussels this summer extremely well. I didn’t open my book yet and Speedy Gonzalez already drank 3 gin-tonic. On top of that he was… an armrest claimer!
The Armrest Claimer
I got on the plane and took, to humour my boyfriend who is a very nervous flier (no Lucas, no way to deny it anymore, it’s on the internet now…), the universally dreaded MIDDLE SEAT. When I arrived at my seat, full of wonder/fear/yes even hope who my unknown neighbour would be, I saw the drunk already ordering his 2nd gin-tonic, all while not letting go of both of his armrests. Despite the heavy drinking, which necessitates pouring drinks into very unstable plastic cups on a heavily moving plane, (me without a doubt needing both hands for it and I’d still be spilling), he never let go of it during the entire flight….
The Chair Recliner
Besides claiming the armrest and kicking on the rear of the chair before you, there’s another thing that could go wrong that involves chairs. There’s always that person I’d like to call the Chair Recliner. Sure, it’s okay to recline your seat if you want to take a rest on a very long flight, but be polite, ask the passenger behind you if it’s OK.
People who like to go for a gentle stroll… in the plane
OK, this I don’t get, what is WRONG with those people who stroll around the plane multiple times? Why would you even do this? 9 times out of 10 you’re blocked by the stewardess who’s walking through the middle path with the tax-free or foodcart, leaving you standing there for minutes like a complete idiot. Do you really already need to use the restroom after having been on the plane for 3 minutes?
I hate this person so much that I dedicated an entire post to him. From the moment the “fasten your seatbelt” light goes out, or often even before it, this person gets up, starts clearing his seat and luggage and moves forward in the plane. Yes, congratulations, you just got off the plane 45 seconds sooner than me. You will also be waiting at the baggage claim 45 seconds longer than me (which will most likely make a total waiting time of 1 hour and 45 seconds), enjoy.
Those Who Do Not Travel Lightly
Only one piece of hand luggage is allowed, however, some people seem to be unable to travel without taking all their belongings, claiming the whole overhead locker department with their stuff. Of course every 5 minutes they need something from one of the many bags, not exactly remembering which bag they put it in (would be a lot easier of you stuck to the one bag-limit if you ask me), forcing them to stand up for a long time, blocking the stewardess, opening every bag and preferably kicking you with an elbow or a backpack multiple times in the process.
Crying children and inattentive parents
Top-3 candidate for sure! Crying or screaming children, what an awful sound. If on top of that, the parents are totally inattentive and aren’t doing anything to calm their child down, we totally get a nervous break-down.
Are you nervous, lonely or over sociable? Then please go to a bar, not a plane. And take all the above people with you, leaving only the civilized on the airplane. Thanks.